• How can I ask for the flexibility I need while maintaining my professional reputation?

• How do I stay fair, while giving my team the hybrid or remote work-lives they want?

• How can I protect my mental health and my boundaries?

• What do I actually want my work life to look like?

• Can I be myself and still succeed?

These complex questions are at the heart of most of my listener mail. And they are at the heart of today’s season opener show, where I ask two experts your questions.

In between all the trendy workplace stories-- from Quiet Quitting to the Great Resignation-- lie two eternal questions: what do we want from our work? What do we need? Obviously we need a salary and benefits. But most of us crave a meaningful way to fill our days; we want agency, autonomy, and the chance to be treated like professional, smart, and motivated adults. 

To get what you want, you first need to know what you want. If these big questions are on your mind, take this time to reset and game out your work life from all angles. Try breaking it up into four quadrants:

1. The BIG picture. Take time to think about your capital C Career and what your ideal future looks like. Ask yourself: what did I learn about myself in the pandemic? How do I want my Career to reflect this learning? Is my current Career choice right for me?

2. Money: How much do I need? What do I want my future to look like and does this job support those goals?

3. Workday logistics. This really matters! Ask: What do I want my day to look like? Do I want to sit in front of a computer all day? Do I want to be constantly on conference calls and video conferences, or do I prefer more heads down alone time? How do I feel about managing other people? Am I craving an office environment-- or do I never want to go to an office again? Do I miss business travel, or am I happier close to home? Listen to your body, and your mood. Check in throughout the day. Does my neck hurt at 10 AM noon or 3 PM? How is my mood throughout the day?

4. Work-Life integration.  How does my workday interact with my life day? Am I experiencing work life conflict, or does this job gives me space to honor my personal and family needs?

You may not want to change all four quadrants. The Big Picture may fit, but the other quadrants don't work. This will help you narrow down your thinking and decide how to ask for what you want.

Here’s the big takeaway from both Amelia Ransom, SPHR and Cali Williams Yost: when you ask your manager for what you need, don’t over-explain, and don’t apologize. You are an active contributor and this is a negotiation towards the shared future of your great career.