I was watching A Christmas Carol the other night with my kids, and reflected that Ebenezer Scrooge is the epitome of a toxic boss.

How do you define toxic workplace behavior? My podcast guest, Dr. Jacqueline Brassey and her team at McKinsey surveyed workers in 15 countries, across 70% of the working population and landed on these criteria:

1. My manager ridicules me

2. My manager puts me down in front of others

3. I work with people who shut me out of conversations

4. My manager makes negative comments about me to others 

5. I work with people who make derogatory remarks about me, and I work with people who belittle me or my ideas. 

McKinsey research finds that one out of four workers indicate they experience high levels of toxic workplace behavior. That’s shocking. In all 15 countries and across all dimensions assessed, toxic workplace behavior was the biggest predictor of burnout symptoms and intent to leave by a large margin —predicting more than 60 percent of the total global variance. Take a minute to think about that.

Toxic behavior directly impacts anxiety at work. It makes us anxious to work with toxic people. Jacqueline Brassey conducted an exploratory study in the midst of her own “confidence crisis.” She realized the impact her own anxiety had on her belonging at work and thought, “For a long time I did think that I was not good enough. That’s often the case with people with anxiety.” 

She found one out of two people at work at least think they would perform better if they were less afraid of making mistakes or not being good enough. At least 40% of people worry a few hours a day about not being good enough. They're anxious, and then people avoid leaning into challenges, speaking up or giving feedback. They feel no psychological safety. They're worried they will be shamed if they make a mistake. And so they're just walking around with anxiety all day long. 

I speak from experience that highly sensitive, anxious people can be catnip for a boss who needs to unload some rage…or even their own anxiety. 

When I think of all the anxious people who are walking around basically staying under the radar, mired in anxiety, it makes me sad. Brassey notes, “They don't speak up. And the organization misses out on a lot of talent because people, if people don't participate and they do not lean in, and you know, there's talent that gets lost, that doesn't come to the table. Critical information does not make it to the table.” 

Toxic behavior keeps people silent. But, just like I yell at my kids and am sometimes an awful spouse, toxic workplace behavior isn’t always intentional. It may come from bad intentions, or it may come from a leader who is herself stressed and anxious. Brassey notes that “it doesn’t get leaders off the hook for bad behavior, but it is a challenge that we see.” Author of Jerks at Work Tessa West says, “Stress affects your ability to regulate your behaviors. You may become more toxic and are less able to perceive it in others.” We’re in a very stressful season, with bad news abounding. The latest Future Forum Pulse report just found compared to a year ago, executives reported a 15% decline in the working environment, a 20% drop in work-life balance, and a 40% increase in work-related stress and anxiety. There may be a lot more Scrooge-like behavior this season.

Some of us are more able to stay our course in the midst of toxic management. The good news is that the more emotionally flexible you are, the better able you are to manage toxic bosses and not let their behavior affect yours. If you can look at your emotions in a difficult moment, decide to choose another path, and recover from a difficult encounter the more able you are to say to your toxic boss, “it’s not me, it’s you.”  Brassey notes the ability to regulate your own emotions and not hook them in with your boss’ bad behavior will leave you less anxious and burned out when working with a toxic boss. This is bad news for your boss and your organization: Brassey finds these emotionally flexible people are 60% more likely to leave the organization if the organization has a toxic environment. 

I call that fair play!

Take a deep breath,

Morra