The permacrisis and accompanying barrage of endless media and political news in the U.S. is stressing everyone out. But what if being in the eye of the storm is your job?  I wanted to learn how a political professional manages anxiety. Shaniqua McClendon is the Vice President of Politics at Crooked Media, a left-leaning political organization, where she runs the Vote Save America program. In fact, Vote Save America’s “Anxiety Relief Program” allows people to donate money with the promise their dollars will go to where they’re most needed, and that VSA will work on donors’ behalf… so everyday donors don’t need to stay awake and worry.

I spoke to McClendon right after Joe Biden dropped out of the race for President, and I asked how she accepts her lack of control and yet still shows up to give it her all, day after day.

Why Does Anxiety Make Us Seek Control?

Control is a coping mechanism a lot of us use when we get anxious. We have the illusion that if only we behave a certain way or think certain thoughts we can keep control and bad things won’t happen. Our anxiety feels better-- temporarily. Over time, this becomes a habit. It’s not a habit that sets us up for growth, innovation and discovery. Also, it’s futile. You can’t control the global economy, the fact that your job offer got rescinded, or climate change.

But there’s a very important corollary: We need some sense of control. Abundant research tells us that one of the most psychologically harmful experiences is the absence of agency. We need to have at least some power over our lives and our environments; we need to be able to make choices that affect our outcomes.

The Answer: Control What You Can!

“There's no one who can control who wins the election,” says McClendon. In therapy, she has learned to control what she can. When she feels anxious, she writes things down. She keeps a notepad going with everything she needs to review with her team, and here’s the thing: “What I write on that notepad are the things we can control.”

“When I feel overwhelmed and there's just a lot that I have to do, I need a list and a plan. Whenever something comes in my head, I put it there. And if it's a big problem, I'll sit there and just think through it. It's usually not about getting the thing done. It's me not knowing how I'm gonna get it done that stresses me out and makes me really anxious. I have found that once I have a plan of attack, then I'm fine."

McClendon takes the time to interrogate her anxiety rather than rushing to fix it. “When I keep kind of peeling the onion to get to what's driving my anxiety, normally, I get to the core of it. And then I ask myself, ‘Can you control that, Shaniqua?’ And the answer is typically no. And then I say, ‘What can you control?’ How can we improve our programs to get more people to sign up to Vote Save America? How do we get more of the people who do sign up to take action? I could say 'Our goals are to elect Democratic president,' but that’s a crazy goal because we do not have enough control over it."

"Before [Biden dropped out], our grassroots donation numbers were looking good, but getting volunteers to sign up was hard. In 2020 the numbers were through the roof and we didn't even have to do much. People were just ready. This year, people who were not excited about Joe Biden. That’s not under our control, but we were trying to figure out how we get them to do something!”

Therapy and practicing have helped McClendon understand how her anxiety leads her to seek control. She had always been a high achiever who excelled in school and made people proud. “That made me really anxious about accomplishing things. When everyone's telling you you’re great, you just lean into that. A lot of what was driving me was this fear of failure, this fear of not being good enough, and this fear that I would let people down. And so I'm now at a point where I feel that I'm more focused on what I want to accomplish."

"Does my anxiety still come up? Absolutely. But now when it comes up, I know what it is. I’m excited about Kamala Harris, and I think for the next few months, that's going to be what's driving me. But if I start to worry that we’re going to fail and not do as well as 2020 [and lose the Election], does that mean something bad is going to happen? No. When those kinds of thoughts come, I can recognize those have nothing to do with Kamala Harris and they are all related to my anxiety showing up.

And then I ask myself, 'Shaniqua, is this really that bad? And is it a realistic outcome? Maybe this is not something you should actually be concerned about and step away from it.'”

During Covid, McClendon started walking most mornings, without her phone or music or a podcast. “That is when I really have time to clear my head, because the anxious thoughts will get going. Then I'll have a second to pause, and I'll have enough time to keep going until I get to the core of whatever is driving it. And then I'm okay. Once you figure out the patterns, you can kind of get to what's at the core a little quicker. I have to get up early so I can go on my walk. It's been really important to have; it’s something I can control [no matter what the rest of the day brings].”

The goal for us anxious achievers is to practice controlling what we can and learning to live with the uncertainty of the rest. This is the work of a lifetime for many of us! I am definitely still working on it.

The good news is that developing the skills to manage anxiety and face fears builds resilience, empathy, and self-awareness, all vital leadership skills for the new age. Plus, you will feel better.

Morra

P.S.: I love Shaniqua McClendon’s practice of taking the time to “peel back the onion,” and being patient enough to interrogate her anxiety rather than rushing to fix it. Can you practice taking some time to peel yours back, too?