Morra Aarons-Mele | The Anxious Achiever

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Is Anxiety Turning You Into A Less Empathetic Manager?

Anxiety can get in the way of our efforts to be the empathetic, thoughtful leaders we want to be. When we're in an anxious state, it's really tough to take a beat, explore the feeling, and react with empathy to another person. We can get impulsive; we worry about getting to the next thing because our threat response is up. We talk too much or over-explain or micromanage. It happens to the best of us. Here's a typical scenario:

Sound familiar?

I'm fascinated by the phenomenon known as "AI Anxiety" caused by "the rapid growth of artificial intelligence and the acceleration of technological change." I think companies have been bad at communicating what the growth of generative AI might mean for our careers and the values we bring to work everyday, and the vacuum in good communications leaves us anxious. AI is really a great unknown, and that's why AI is a helpful bogeyman, narrative—even enemy for us to have—a place to put our anger and anxiety about work. Whether or not it's coming for our jobs, AI represents a future in which humans are not the stars of the show, which makes many of us feel threatened.

Right now many of us are working in a "messy middle"—we know technological disruption is here to stay. We like what we see so far, from ChatGPT and its likes, but what will the AI revolution actually mean? In Forbes, Jack Kelly writes, "There is a direct correlation between using artificial intelligence and concerns about job security. The more workers leverage generative AI in their jobs, the more likely they fear that automation may replace them. According to a CNBC SurveyMonkey Workforce survey, 60% of employees who use AI regularly reported they worry about its impact on their jobs. Seventy-two percent of respondents who use the technology recognize that automation significantly increases productivity."

Here's something curious I've learned in my month-long exploration of what the generative AI era means for leadership: an AI bot doesn't get anxious. It's not distracted. It can invest wholeheartedly or wholemindedly in a way that humans can't always. Unlike humans, AI doesn't get anxious, or stressed, or angry, or overwhelmed. Charlene Li offers an optimistic perspective on AI. She suggests that AI doesn't experience empathy fatigue like humans do, and AI Leaders could potentially enhance our emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills.

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Li imagines a future where AI allows us to "literally put on empathy goggles. We'll be able to see things go look around our blind spots with this technology to understand people to do what I call subtle translations about body language or tone of voice, kind of kick us on the side of the head like, Hey, you need to shut up now in this meeting. You're talking too much. We can think about so many ways AI can save us from ourselves, that I think are coming around the corner."

Understanding the "Messy Middle"

Charlene is also an expert in leading through disruption, and she offers a way we can get comfortable with what she calls the "messy middle"—that space between where we are and where we're going. Instead of rushing through change, Li suggests we should prepare ourselves mentally for the journey, put scaffolding in place to support our transition, and approach change intentionally.

Li emphasizes that successful disruptors aren't those who've jumped off many cliffs, but those who know they'll be okay regardless of the outcome. This mindset shift can be powerful in facing the uncertainties that AI brings to the job market.

Practical Steps For Managing AI Anxiety

When anxiety about AI hits, it's crucial to have strategies in place. Dr. Diana Hill, a psychologist, offers several approaches to manage these feelings effectively.

First, grounding yourself is key. This might involve practicing soothing rhythm breathing or focusing on a distant, steady point on the horizon. These techniques can help activate parts of the brain associated with feeling connected and stable.

Next, Hill suggests expanding your distress tolerance. This involves welcoming your feelings instead of pushing them away, giving them a name, and identifying the values underlying your emotions. By doing so, you're not just tolerating distress, but expanding your capacity to handle it.

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Let's walk through an example of an expansion practice to help sit with the messy middle and perhaps the uncomfortable feelings AI brings.

Imagine you've just read a news article about AI potentially replacing jobs in your industry. You notice a tightness in your chest and your heart rate increasing. Instead of trying to change these sensations, create more space around them. Take deep breaths, relax your shoulders, and let your belly soften.

Now, ask yourself, "What do I care about that's making this painful?" You might realize it's a desire to matter, to make an impact, or to provide for your family. This identification of underlying values is crucial.

Finally, consider what action you can take right now that aligns with those values. This might be updating your skills, networking, or exploring new areas where your unique human qualities can shine.

The key is leaning into the messy discomfort—which diminishes the need for immediate action like snapping or acting out!

Leaning Into the Mess

As we navigate the AI revolution, remember that our uniquely human qualities—creativity, empathy, and adaptability—remain our greatest assets. By managing our anxiety and focusing on our values, we can approach the future of work with confidence and resilience.

Remember, it's not about eliminating anxiety, but about learning to coexist with it productively. As we embrace the "messy middle," we may find that this period of change offers unexpected opportunities for growth and innovation. By staying grounded in our values and open to new possibilities, we can navigate the AI-driven future with greater ease and purpose.

Check out my four special episodes about AI, anxiety, and work on the Anxious Achiever podcast feed!

Morra