Joy Is Essential: Here's How To Claim It
Depression and anxiety have ruined a lot of days for me. They’ve stolen their share of joy. But I’m a joy fanatic. I can't live without it! The capacity for joy is essential to our leadership and our life. Without joy, you can’t find hope for the future. When you’re joyful, you want to bring others along with you. They can see your vision and they want to come along for the journey.
When my depression was at its worst, it was a victory to focus for just a few moments on anything external—the sound of a bird chirping outside my window, petting the dog, jotting down notes for a LinkedIn post. On other days I tried to imagine a more joyful state of being, or to remember, if only for a few moments, what it was like to be in the flow, contributing something meaningful.
When my mental health is in a good place, I know now that I have to literally stock up on joy. When the day is good, when I feel love surging through me, when I'm rediscovering the things that I loved to do in my youth, I bank that joy. If you had asked me a couple years ago if joy was something one could summon like a memory or a fact, I would’ve laughed. But now I know that summoning joy is a practice, a skill that can be developed. Banking joy is an amazing practice, and here’s how to start.
How to Bank Joy
When I feel joy, I name it, and then I try to make a snapshot of my brain so I can summon the feeling when I need it. I see that joy pouring into my body. It’s been absolutely transformative for me and I want to share the method with you.
I stumbled upon a meditation from Diana Winston, a professor at UCLA. Learn about her here: https://dianawinston.com/meditations
I want to share it with you because the practice of summoning joy is the most powerful instant antidote I’ve found to feeling anxious or depressed. Here’s how I do it:
First, breathe and settle yourself. Be still for a moment.
Close your eyes, and think of a time when you felt joy. This could be any kind of joy: the heart bursting, shouting from the rooftops kind of joy, a calm sense of joy and contentment, or the feeling of joy when you are surrounded by those you love.
Try to bring that moment to the front of your mind. See it and smell it. Try to imprint into your body. Think of that moment and say in your mind:
“I am open to joy. I am cultivating joy. I am feeling joyful.” You can repeat as often as you like. Open your eyes when you’re done. How do you feel?
I have a collection of joyful moments stored in my brain and I use them often in my meditations. I’ve learned to be able to bring them to my consciousness, and tap into the feeling of what it was like to be in that moment of joy.
Find what brings you joy.
When I was a girl, my greatest joy was horses. I don’t ride anymore but the simple act of nuzzling a horse and smelling that amazing horse smell brings me great joy. I also find joy in being around horses with my daughter- we’re both horse girls at heart!
I have friends who are rediscovering love for the hobbies of their youth, from singing in a choir to playing soccer to painting. Even making the choice to step out of your comfort zone and stretch at work can be a joyful, courageous experience. As a fast-rising star in public radio, Priska Neely was being pushed into hosting radio shows. It was flattering to be in demand and have her talents recognized, but Priska had misgivings. So she conducted “an audit of what gives me joy,” she said. She realized that managing and mentoring journalists in the studio brought her more joy than being an on-air reporter. “Ultimately, I just feel like I can have a greater impact,” she said, “in helping to train people and validate people and get their stories on the right track so that there can be more people doing what I've been able to do.” She’s now the Managing Editor of a large public radio network, managing dozens of people.
Conduct an audit of what brings you joy. When do you feel most in flow and effective? What is it you’re doing when you feel your actions hold true significance and you’re creating the change you’ve always wanted to? Along with your values, the things that bring you joy are powerful sources of motivation that can sustain you through difficult times.
Anxiety can mask potential sources of joy—and if we let it continue unmanaged, it can steal our joy altogether. Maybe that alone can be your motivation for learning to manage your anxiety. What joy are you missing out on because you’re afraid? What are you preventing yourself from trying because you’re afraid to be less than perfect? Afraid to step into a bigger role? Afraid to have a louder voice, a wider impact, a broader reach? Afraid to look silly because it’s been years since you’ve swung a racket or danced or played volleyball or sung or ridden a horse?
Joy is a practice. I’m off to bank some joy with my family in the woods for 2 weeks. Hope you can get banking, too. See you back online in a little while!
Morra