How to check in with your mental health
Welcome to the Anxious Achiever newsletter! Each week, I’ll highlight guests on my podcasts and offer a tool or exercise to manage your own mental health during the workday.
BIG news! The Anxious Achiever is launching Season 6 today in partnership with LinkedIn and its inaugural LinkedIn Podcast Network season!
And I’d love to invite you to join me and other LinkedIn podcast hosts tonight at 5pm ET -- for an AMA of sorts. I want to hear your ideas for the show.
Recently, I had a serious bout of depression and anxiety. And amidst the pain and the struggle of just getting through the day, I was angry. I’d been “good” for so long-- how dare depression take me down right now!!! Thankfully, I made it through. Meds really helped, and so did intensive therapy. The kind of therapy that’s a real commitment and makes you groan, especially because it’s no fun being on Zoom for hours talking about the rawest of things.
My guest this week on the Anxious Achiever would understand. Gillian Stein is the CEO of Henry’s, Canada's largest independent photographic and digital retailer. Gillian is fiercely committed to her mental health. She was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder in her twenties and although she is asymptomatic and runs a large business, mental health check ins are daily for her: “Every day, I'm constantly checking in with myself. How is my mood? How am I feeling? Am I tired? Am I sluggish? Am I a little bit too hyper? Is there something that's changed and I'm constantly adjusting? It's not something that I think you sort of, at least for me, set and forget. And then wait until something big happens. It's this constant tuning.”
But here’s the thing: staying mentally healthy is a commitment. If you’re someone who has struggled with a mental health disorder, the fear of a recurrence is always present and so you build infrastructure to stay well: this could be therapy, mediciation, exercise, spiritual or religious practice, trusted peers. And even if you’re mentally well, you probably invest in your mental health in ways you don’t even realize, like exercising, spending time with people you love, or engaging in your favorite hobby (mine’s tennis).
I love the framing of being mentally well, and mentally unwell and you will hear me use it on the show. I think this de-stigmatizes the idea of mental illness. Because almost all of us experience times in our lives when we are mentally well, and times when we’re mentally unwell.
Your Tells and Your Wellness Toolkit
You may have a routine that helps maintain mental wellness, and you may have “tells”- signs in your body that things may not be 100% with your mental health. For me, it’s when my heart races all the time and my hands tremble. I also lose my appetite.
Poppy Jaman OBE, a previous guest on The Anxious Achiever, knows she is starting to feel depressed when she loses her appetite. Poppy says, “I think I find it difficult to swallow. Something happens to my voice, which essentially means my throat. I think the emotional closing-in represents itself in not being able to eat, not being able to swallow. So, that's definitely a sign for me. I lose my appetite, I lose sleep. I start to stay up later and later and wake up even earlier. I get very irritable, so I start micromanaging.”
Poppy knows, “It's not me in my authentic place. It's me unwell.”
She advises doing a self check in: Ask yourself how you are. Answer the question honestly. It may take time to come to the true answer, or tears may well up and you know immediately.
Poppy advises to name the feeling. “I listen to how I'm feeling without the need to change it, without the need to judge it. Just accept and acknowledge it by writing it down.”
We know that naming your emotions is a crucial first step to getting the help you need. And often our bodies know something is wrong before our minds do.
When you can see your feelings on the page, you may begin to understand why symptoms are happening. Has something changed that’s making you anxious? Are you feeling sad and down for a reason?
On the flipside, Poppy advises a “wellbeing toolkit.” It’s a list of things you love to do, things that will make you feel better. She says, “Create another list on the days that you feel great. Just jot down the things that make you feel great. For me, it's things like having a chat with one of my best friends about nothing in particular. Going out for a run, swimming, just hanging out, and winding my kids up are quite fun.”
Poppy says, “You’re creating two sides of the same page... one side is your stress signature, and one side is your well-being toolkit. If I noticed that actually for three check-ins in a row, for example, my mood has been low or it's been a negative feeling, then I will go straight to my well-being toolkit and do one of the things that tickles my fancy.”
The great thing about that approach is it takes out the decision-making process.
What’s in your wellbeing toolkit?