Your Boredom is Trying to Tell You Something
“I don't want to do this anymore. I'm bored.”
Crystal Frommert had been teaching math for 20 years. She loves teaching. She is a high achiever with a Master’s Degree. In our podcast interview this week she tells me, “I am the type of teacher who's reading teacher books on the weekends. I'm listening to teacher podcasts, I'm doing all the things, and it was just so much that it led towards this anger, resentment, bitterness, and boredom, and it really just washed over me and it was impossible to ignore.”
Sometimes, years of stress, frustration, and the tedium of life just drives us to our breaking point. In our professions, we may be masterful, but burnout can make us feel totally blah. And sometimes there’s no big crisis or drama that leads us to feel this way. We are human, and we get worn out.
“I was angry at how disorganized things were at school. I think I was overreacting to some of that disorganization that just comes along with running a place with 1800 children. I was not recognizing, whoa, I need to just step back for a moment and look at what I'm doing.” Frommert felt dissatisfied at home and at work, and she knew she had to listen to her emotions.
“It was very hard for me to admit out loud. And for the first time in many years, I sought out therapy, which I highly recommend because I needed help with navigating these confusing feelings of something that I always knew I wanted to do, something I'm really good at and used to love.”
Frommert realized that anxiety had a role in driving her burnout, and much of this anxiety was around managing parental expectations. She says, “When my skin starts to tingle, I'm like, oh, we're in a confrontational situation now. And I could feel my anxiety presenting itself. And I feel it even when we have wonderful, well intentioned parents who don't agree with something I say, which is completely fine, we don't have to agree on everything. I think that as teachers sometimes we come from a place where we want to please everybody all the time, and we just cannot do that. I cannot make everybody happy all the time. I can come to this meeting with the research that I have, with the resources that I have, evidence that I have of the child's progress. I can present that in an objective way.”
Working with her therapist, Frommert decided to leave the school she’d been teaching at, which was a place she loved. She went to another school, working in a non-classroom role. But after a couple years of working outside the classroom Crystal returned to her former school and found she had a renewed love for teaching.
“I came back with a new vision of what I was as a teacher. I came back with a little bit more calmness and relaxation towards what I was doing. I always felt this urgency of, I've got to get this, I got to teach this, I got to do this perfectly. And I think that comes along with anxiety that I do have. But I think working with a therapist helped me lay it all out like a deck of cards, and reassess."
One of the telltale signs of burnout is a sense of inefficacy and that sense of ennui or boredom or “I just can't.”
Crystal was able to re-engage with being a classroom teacher relatively quickly. Here's why:
She took her emotions seriously and sought help
She acknowledged the role anxiety played in her burnout. Crystal told me that she's a lifelong anxious achiever, and has a lot to say about how anxiety shapes who she is as a teacher, good and bad. She learned to manage that anxiety, and notes that her book “When Calling Parents Isn’t Your Calling” was inspired by her own anxiety.
She took a smart risk, and tried something new. But Crystal adds, “I kept an open relationship with [my former school], which I'm very grateful I did because I came back.”
She came back to teaching… plus. She’s added on work in administration. Crystal started writing for a prominent teacher website, which opened up a whole new professional avenue for her! She wrote a book and pursued her writing. New interests and passions help stave over burnout and boredom.
Boredom happens.
When you are in a role that you've been doing for years, you're an expert and you feel like maybe you could do it in your sleep. I've felt this myself at times. You think, is there more than this? And sometimes, that’s just life, and it’s a sign that you need a new challenge or a new experience.
But boredom can also mask deeper issues, like anxiety, burnout, and even depression. If you’re finding yourself sitting at your desk and zoning out way more than you used to, take it seriously. Get professional help if you can. Interrogate your boredom! It’s trying to tell you something.
Morra