Is Role Switching Adding to Your Stress?
Role switching can be one of the most stressful and unsettling parts of working from home.
For example, I had three minutes before an important 12:30 meeting on Zoom. At 12:27, my daughter came down to my home office in tears, insisting she needed to talk to me because she was in a conflict with her cousins. My heart went out to my daughter, who’s only seven. But I said to her: can you tell me the problem in three minutes? If not it will have to wait a half an hour. Which feels like a crummy thing to say to a seven year old. I was flustered when logging onto the meeting, and felt guilty for not dropping anything to deal with my daughter's tears. Even though I knew intellectually it was not a big conflict and she’d be fine, my focus was in two places at once and I was anxious.
"Switching" is the process by which social actors move between different social contexts, i.e between family relationships to professional relationships.
A recent Cornell study found that women, especially, can switch up to 30 times in one day! The study's author Dr. Benjamin Cornwell told the Cornell Chronicle: “Switching is a constant reality for women–morning, day, and night–and they switch between more disparate social roles. They go from being at work, which is formal, authoritative, and hierarchical, to being at home with a child within a matter of 10 minutes." Switching adds to stress and poses challenges to people in terms of scheduling and planning.
If constant role switching is a problem for you, here are a few things that you can do:
Schedule buffer times in between meetings. The worst is when you’re running from the car after a kid pick up or grocery run and logging straight onto Zoom.
Review your schedule every morning for the current day and every night for the following day. Make sure you include personal and professional meetings on your calendar. If you don’t want colleagues to see details on your personal schedule, make sure that your public settings are off! When you review, ask yourself: am I going to be able to make the transition with the time I’ve given myself?
If you can, try to schedule one day free of switching. Pick a day to just be a professional, or just be a parent between working hours. See if you feel better. If you do, are there ways that you can try to schedule one switching free day? Pick a day to just be a professional, or just be a parent between working hours. See if you feel better. If you do, are there ways that you can work with a partner or caregiver to take that long stretch of space?
Practice "grace and space" for yourself, and for others. I learned this one one from Laura Mayes, who asked for it from people who attended her first in person conference after Covid. I think it’s an incredible and powerful affirmation to have in your head as you’re jumping around for the day. So if you're sweating and out of breath when you log on to that meeting, think: grace and space.
Embrace the "Nano-transition": For a counter view of how to positively manage these quick changes, M. Gloria González-Morales and her students Megan Benzing, Alyssa Birnbaum, and Chloe Darlington at Claremont Graduate University suggest embracing the shifts between work and home and reframing them as a chance to get essential tasks done-- tasks that were harder to do when we were in offices. González-Morales asserts that "Taking a minute to go online and buy groceries or to post an update on Facebook or chase a toddler around the house" actually helps us manage our loads and stay more focused and productive. The key? 'The interruption must be autonomous, intentional, and regulated, or “air.'" So taking time to plan and schedule work and home can help.