Perfectionism Vs. the Pursuit of Excellence
Myth: The “best” are always perfectionists. Truth: Perfectionism is about anxiety.
A recent Wall St. Journal profile of legendary designer Sir Jony Ive typifies the dominant myth about perfectionism:
“Ive’s role in the revival of Apple can’t be overstated, says current CEO Tim Cook… Always a perfectionist, Ive traveled to Apple factories in Taiwan, China, South Korea and Singapore, sometimes sleeping on the line to ensure the precision he brought to one-off samples had been captured in the final product. In 2001, Ive helped launch the iPod with its trademark white headphones, and later the ultra-slender MacBook Air (2008) and iPad (2010). “
The truth is, we don’t know if Jony Ive is a perfectionist. This is important. We use the term to describe our greatest achievers, but in reality, perfectionism is a thought pattern or behavior that demands “of others or of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation. It is associated with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other mental health problems.”
And perfectionism is complicated, because it’s seductive to think of yourself as a perfectionist. Greatness seems to require it. Like Ive, the “best” in their fields are always described as perfectionists. But in truth, perfectionists often fail to produce their best work because they’re hampered by anxiety and fear of failure or shame.
My guest, psychologist Thomas Greenspon says “Perfectionism is more than pushing yourself to do your best to achieve a goal; it’s a reflection of an inner self mired in anxiety.”
Greenspon says, “I always like to make a distinction between pursuing excellence and perfectionism. You can go all out, you can push yourself beyond the limits, you can burn the candle at both ends, do all those kinds of things. And that in itself doesn't mean that you're necessarily perfectionistic. We assign meanings to our experience and if making a mistake means to you that there's something wrong with you, then you're in the territory of perfectionism.”
So here is the golden nugget:
If you gave up your perfectionism, you’d lose a lot of anxiety but still be the achiever you are. Or, you might unlock your creativity and let loose your drive in an entirely new way. Because perfectionism is anxiety, not your hard-won skills and work-ethic in action. Greenspon says while most perfectionists are conscientious, hard-working, and talented “if perfectionism could be eliminated completely, none of these personal qualities would change and a great burden would be lifted.”
He continues, “Like an airplane wing, perfectionism has a leading and a trailing edge. The leading edge is all of the desires to do well, the persistence, the conscientious effort, and the other characteristics of those for whom great success is a goal. The trailing edge is the intense anxiety and all of the attendant behaviors that result from fear of failure. Perfectionism is simultaneously a desire to be perfect and a fear of imperfection. If you let go of the anxiety around perfection, you won’t be less skilled or successful. You will just lose the trailing effect of the anxiety.”
Greenspon poses a question I’d love you to consider: Where did you get the idea that there's something wrong with you if you make a mistake?
If you’re stuck in perfectionism, listen to your self-talk. If your self-worth is tied to your achievement or to doing things “perfectly,” where do those beliefs come from?