Feeling Joy Is A Skill. Here's How To Do It.

🌟 Joy is a practice 🌟

Monday night, my daughter and I shared a beautiful moment together, reading a book in bed. It wasn't an overwhelming, ecstatic joy, but rather a gentle feeling of being surrounded by love. In moments like these, I've learned to name and capture joy so I can summon it when I need it most. It has been truly transformative for me, and I want to share this method with all of you.

A few years ago, I would have scoffed at the idea of summoning joy like a memory or a fact. However, I've discovered that summoning joy is indeed a practice—a skill that can be developed. I stumbled upon a simple meditation by Diana Winston, a professor at UCLA, that I share with you in this week's newsletter.

Now, I must admit, I'm a bit of a lazy meditator. I typically spend around 7 minutes, and not every day. But even with this modest commitment, I've found it incredibly helpful. During the lovingkindness meditation, I focus on one of my children or my husband and wish them safety, health, strength, and ease. In moments of stress or tension, it reconnects me with the pure love I feel for them.

On our latest podcast episode, I had a fantastic conversation with Jessica Grose, an opinion writer for The New York Times. We shared a good laugh as we discussed a particular aspect of parenting guilt. Grose cooks dinner for her children every night because she feels anxious about not breastfeeding them for as long as she believes she should.

Hearing this, my own anxiety was triggered because I, too, didn't breastfeed my children for as long as I had hoped, and our dinners often involve frozen Trader Joe's meals. Additionally, on Mother's Day, I'll be on a plane to California for a speech.

We all have countless reasons to berate ourselves as parents, and life can bring stress and anxiety in abundance. However, when we pause and deliberately summon joy and lovingkindness for even just a minute, those perceived deficits are overshadowed by sweet joy.