Who’s In Your Mental Health Squad?
Data show that peer-to-peer support for mental health is really powerful. And having strong friendships at work "can significantly improve mental health by reducing stress, anxiety, and loneliness while fostering a sense of belonging and support."
I recently hosted a conversation with three young professionals—Dan, Zoe, and Kellie—who met at a large company in Boston during the pandemic. Each of them has dealt with anxiety in different ways, often for most of their lives. But rather than hiding it or “fixing” it, they’re learning how to live and lead with it. I absolutely love their "no big deal" approach to managing strong emotions and how mental health is 100% integrated into their approach to work and leadership. I've shared key nuggets below, but do listen to the interview!
They didn’t know each other when they started. But the office was nearly empty, and they naturally found each other-- taking breaks in a shared lounge, decompressing after tough meetings, admitting when they weren’t okay. And over time, they created strong bonds that helped them function at their best.
Dan is a classic Anxious Achiever. He’s a product manager and told me: “Anxiety has helped me a lot in my career. Specifically, working in product… anxiety's whole bit is being uncomfortable with uncertainty. So it's all about: How can I refine product requirements, build business requirements, and foresee any potential pitfalls where things would go wrong? I think my anxiety really lends itself to that and has helped me be very successful. I think about things that I don't think people with normal brains would consider.” Instead of fighting anxiety, he uses it as an edge. But like many of us, he’s also learned the hard way that anxiety needs a container: boundaries, tools, people. Listen to our interview:
The Power of Peer Support
These three weren’t on the same teams. But they talked—at lunch, in passing, during moments between tasks. And because they weren’t embedded in each other’s org charts, they could show up as themselves. That safe space helped them manage the hardest moments. Dan helped her learn to code. Kellie became a lunch table confidant.
Zoe described trying to adjust to a new job and city—while navigating depression and being off her meds: “Calling the doctor and switching my prescription was for some reason Mount Everest for me… I don't like letting people down. That’s honestly a huge source of my anxiety. Being more open from the jump has been something I took away from that. But there has to be a sense of trust and understanding already built to know what’s actually going to help—because all these situations are different.”
"There's No Overlap..."
Kellie, who works in HR, summed it up with a message I wish every executive could hear: “People say GenZs and younger millennials just want to talk about their feelings too much. It’s not appropriate for work. But I think that’s one of the bravest things you can do… It’s really empowering to own your feelings and speak about them. Like Zoe just told us, she was in full boss mode and was still working through her emotions, learning what was expected of her, and how she could cope through it. That’s really brave—to acknowledge your feelings, keep working through, and then make the decision that that’s not the right thing for you.”
They shared: “I think that caring deeply can be really powerful. But one of the hard things is when you express hope and vulnerability, and you’re working to communicate and help people understand where you’re coming from, you can still run into a wall. Sometimes the response is, ‘Well, that’s just not how we do it.’ Or, ‘That’s not how you get to the next level.’”
“I’ve been given advice like, ‘Never admit to your boss that you made a mistake. Wait for them to call you on it, because you should never show weakness.’ But if I value honesty and openness, how do I move forward in a system that tells me to hide those things? There’s no overlap—it’s not even a Venn diagram.”
Is Anxiety Still Seen as Weakness?
We talked about how younger professionals seek mentorship and often face outdated assumptions. My guests shared their experience that there’s a bias that if someone doesn’t know exactly what they want, they’re not driven. Especially among older generations, there’s this idea that uncertainty means a lack of ambition. But for the younger professionals "a lot of that uncertainty comes from analysis paralysis. Today’s careers aren’t linear. We have so many options now that saying “I have no idea” can be a smart and honest response."
People care less about whether someone has anxiety and more about how they handle it. If someone is facing challenges at work, leaders want to know: What coping skills do they have? Can they still be trusted to get through it?
It’s really about how you manage conflict and take care of your mental health. That’s why so many companies use personality tests as team-building tools—it helps leaders understand how people work best and how to use those differences effectively.
How Mental Health Shapes Ambition
We discussed how our experiences with mental health have shifted how we think about ambition.
Kellie shared, "Some people don’t mind working weekends because they love what they do. But I haven’t figured out that balance yet—and I don’t want to work every weekend or stay up late every night. If that’s what it takes to get promoted, maybe I’m okay not being in a leadership role at this job—or the next."
Zoe: "That was a big part of why I left my last job. The message was clear: to move up, I’d have to take on even more. And the raise wouldn’t make up for it—I was already maxed out. So I switched to a much smaller company where I work directly with leadership. I wear a lot of hats, and I love seeing the bigger picture. People warned me that leaving a big-name company for something small would ruin my career. But I told myself: If this makes me happy, I’ll figure it out. And if not, I’ll do something else. And honestly, I’ve loved it.
Sure, I still work some weekends or nights, but I enjoy what I do. I can take a walk in the middle of the day and work later if I need to. I finally have the flexibility to work in a way that fits me—when I’m most energized."
Dan shared: “If you had asked me the same question two years ago, my answer would’ve been totally different. Back then, I didn’t understand why I was constantly chasing promotions or job offers. I’d be applying to roles on LinkedIn, leveraging offers—and suddenly I’d have three competing offers and no idea how I got there. I didn’t even want to leave my job!”
“Looking back, I think my anxious brain was just telling me: ‘You need to make a move. You need to be doing more.’ Anxiety craves validation. And in the corporate world, that validation looks like a raise, a promotion, a ‘meets or exceeds expectations’ rating.”
“Once I started peeling back the layers—figuring out why I was working 80 hours a week, doing two jobs, and enrolling in grad school—I saw it clearly. I was trying to quiet my anxiety by proving I was doing enough.”
“At one point, I loaded up my life so completely that there was literally no room to do more. My anxiety couldn’t demand anything else. Of course, I still want to be promoted. I want to be a leader. Maybe even run a business someday. But now, it’s not so urgent. The pressure is less intense. The timeline isn’t as rigid anymore.”
Remember:
Mental health at work is not just policy. It's about the relationships and trust we build together. Peer support matters.
Just because someone works differently than you or has big feelings doesn't mean they are not less ambitious—they’re ambitious differently.
Managers matter—but so do lunch tables.
Anxiety can be a leadership tool—when supported and understood.
The question isn’t whether your employees are anxious. The question is whether they have the resources they need, which includes trusted relationships.
Morra
P.S.: I'm going a bit quiet the next couple of weeks to refresh and renew.